Pay Attention : A Conversation with God (With Audio)

Hey you. I’ve gotta to be honest and straight up with you, this particular post? I need it. I still don’t have a script or clear template of what I’m gonna share today but I am writing this in real time as the Lord is speaking to me. I sense it deep in my soul and spirit that He wants to speak to me about attention today. And umm, let’s be honest, today’s world programs us to have the attention span of a gold fish, so I’m certain you need this too. With all the scrolling and accessible entertainment, we can struggle to pay attention when it isn’t tickling our fancy within the first 5 seconds. Due to the nature of this post, the structure will be a bit different. I’m not talking to you this time, I’m talking with God. In bold is what I sense Him saying to me. It is my prayer that the Words I write are not diluted, contaminated or adulterated in any way. Okay, here’s me letting you in on my communion with the Lord….Come on in.

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Lord, I can feel the deficit in me. Lately, my soul and spirit feels parched. I feel off balance, I need more of you. My spirit bears witness when it feels starved but I’m trying to understand why exactly? I’ve been reading the Word, I’ve been praying, I’ve been listening to Christian resources…what’s going on?

Attention. The attention you’re giving me is not sufficient. It is not enough to study my word and not meditate continually, and to meditate requires attention. It is not enough to spend time desiring me and going through the motions if you do not do so wholeheartedly, with your whole mind. And to seek me with your whole heart and mind requires attention. Full attention. I require full attention. Not the sprints of focus you’re being programmed to give to things in a world that has made instant gratification easily accessible. I pursue you, relentlessly. I desire that you do the same. Seek me, faithfully, relentlessly and wholeheartedly.

I hear you God. No one else deserves my full attention, and I try, but lately it’s so easy for me to get distracted. I pull up my Bible and read for some time, and then there’s an urgent thought that I feel like I must act on. My mind feels so busy. I try during intentional devotion times to guard my mind from any possible distractions. I turn off my notifications, phone’s on DND, and now, thanks to the arrival of my physical NLT Bible which I LOVEE, I pretty much desert my phone during our time together. But my mind? My mind is struggling. Even when I read at a stretch, recently, it feels like my mind is closed to some degree. Not all the time. I relish the days when I have streaks of deep insights when studying the Word, times where I feeeel you here moving on all days. Why does it feel like I’m a visitor checking in and out of the inner room lately? I desire to Abide. You desire for me to abide. I need help Lord. I need your help.

I honor devotion. I honor faithfulness. I honor effort and I empower you to sow those by my spirit in you. I want you to pay the price. Pay the price of attention, consistently. I’m here, I’ve always been here, and I will meet you there. But I need you to continue to show up. I need you to not get weary in your pursuit of me. I’ve never gotten weary of you and I never will. Whether you feel me or not, focus on my person. Revere my presence whether it feels tangible or not, you know the truth – I’m here. How can I despise a humble and contrite heart? That’s my dwelling place. Remember what I taught you? It takes humility to continue. Yes, even in your continuous pursuit of me, I am teaching you patience. I am teaching you humility. I am teaching you faithfulness. Stay persistent in your Pursuit of my Presence.

So I continue? Yes, I continue to seek you but I must be intentional about being still and meditating. I understand. In my stillness, especially the stillness of my heart and mind, that’s when I tune into the right frequency to receive from you. I have to be extra intentional about getting back into the habit of chewing on a word all through the day. Ponder… I’ve seen the power of pondering. You reward meditation; you reward the faithful seek. And on the days where I have yet to see a tangible return, thank God I have evidence of your track record. Even those days, you use to train me. To prepare me. To teach me. Hmm. So I’ll pray anyways, study anyways, meditate anyways.

It’s true, when you seek me wholeheartedly, you will find me. But be careful lest our communion only become about what you can leave with. I give you myself. Yes, I share my wisdom with you. Yes, I gift you with revelation and insight. And yet, the highest value is just being. You being with me. That’s enough. Rest in me. In my kingdom, I reward rest. If you get nothing else from our time together – no word, no deep insight, no strategy, would you be okay with just me? Just my presence? Your agenda must always be submitted to me. Yes, I want you to come to me with your burdens and cares. I want you to strategically intercede. Yet, I want to always have the final say on how our time together will go. It’s for your good, believe me. I know what you need more than you do. So, let me take the lead. Just show up and surrender.

Wow. Yes Lord, I remember how refreshing it is when you lead in our special prayer times. I remember coming in wanting to pray about so many trials and burdens, but then spending the hour giving thanks instead with tears streaming down my face… I always still felt full. Worship….I was made to worship you, and that is home. Truly, you know exactly what I need. So what now Lord?

Continue to be diligent in your seek, make sure you pay full attention. I want your mind. There is no way around it, this is the price you have to pay – attention. You can ask me to help you with your mind, I will. You SHOULD ask me, you need my help. Then don’t be afraid to just sit with me. Your plans are always subject to change with me, and that’s a beautiful thing. You know what you want. I know what you need. Turn the voices down, pay attention and be fully present. This is how intimacy grows. This is how our intimacy will grow.

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Well, what to say? I hope this window into my life and time with the Lord spoke to your soul. Truly, attention is a price we must pay for intimacy to grow… I don’t know that I ever thought about it that way, or that deeply. And also, not just attention to the words you speak during your prayer time, but moreso, attention to the One to whom you are speaking to. When our focus is rightly placed on Him, we are intentional about listening for His response and guidance. Intimate prayer is not a one-way thing. Be Still, Make room for Him, Commune.

I’m not going to drag this one out. That’s it. I hope this blessed you.
I love you. God loves you immeasurably more. 💕

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