The Pressure is Getting Wesser

Hey friends! So in the spirit of “love month”, I decided to pivot and go with the theme. Clearly, from the title, you can see I chose violence today. Lmao, just kidding y’all. But on a more serious note, I’m no expert on relationships and marriage but the Holy Spirit is. I thought it wise to share a few thoughts and insights. A little sneak peak into my perspective on romantic relationships could offer some thinking points. And though such conversations are needed all year round, this month, and this day presents the perfect opportunity.

Nowww, forgive my vernacular if you‘re not familiar with the statement that is the title of this post. This is how single people tend to joke amongst themselves when couples are “oppressing” them with their love lol – PDA everywhere. On those days that their timelines are full of “I said YES”, as though every woman on IG is engaged, under their breath, or in the comments, they would say “the pressure is getting wesser”( slang for the pressure on single people is growing ).

First off, thank you for carving out a few minutes to read(or listen) to this. Happy Valentine’s day! As believers, we know that celebrating love, and loving people is not relegated to a specific day. However, I see no harm in emphasizing, or rather celebrating it more on a day. That being said, we all know that Vals day is known specifically for Romantic love (“Eros”) but if you’re not there yet, I still recommend celebrating love in it’s various formats such as Agape(God love), Storge(brotherly love), Philia (friendship love), etc. Every single one of these is worth celebrating. So maybe take some time to sit with, and love on the Lord today. Be extra vocal and expressive about your love for friends and family too. And hey! Don’t you forget about yourself now. Single or not, Jesus has proven you are worthy of love.

But come on now, you know we want to talk about Eros today haha. Nothing long, but a few points, especially for my singles. In this specific context, from this point on, you’re single until married, thank you very much. Or maybe for the sake of this post let me refer to those in a relationship as ‘single’. And those that are not as ‘singlets’ 😅. Pardon me, I need a way to get my point across.

First thing for both of these groups is, BEWARE OF COMPROMISE! As a Christian, your ultimate commitment, and first allegiance is to God. Whether you’re a single in a relationship, or a singlet, the basis on which you live should be the principles of God. So, in your search for affirmation, romantic love, or validation, please be careful not to compromise on your commitment to God. I mean this in every regard but I’ll flat out highlight this sexually, because we’re adults and we know what we’re all thinking. Sex is not a valentine’s gift as an unmarried Christian please. Maybe today, more than usual, you need to set boundaries to ensure that amidst all the butterflies, romance and mushy feelings, you do not fall into temptation.

Sex is not a valentine’s gift as an unmarried Christian please.
Maybe today, more than usual, you need to set boundaries to ensure that amidst all the butterflies, romance and mushy feelings, you do not fall into temptation.

Secondly, please remember your worth. For some people, it’s actually not even an issue of “remembering”, it’s an issue of “knowing”. I was once that person, and my lack of knowledge of my worth in Christ was expressed in other ways. Where the value of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable. I say this today because, if you’re a singlet that has had someone you know is not good for you toast you for so long, you may be tempted to give in today in the pursuit of a romantic valentine day. The mistakes you make in one day can have an impact on a lifetime, please be wise. I know that romantic love is not exactly the same as God loving you, but I need you to go back to the foundation of love – God. Go see what He says about you – the apple of His eye, the light of the world, His beloved child. No amount of romance will top God’s love, but a perfect romance will be built on God’s love.

The mistakes you make in one day can have an impact on a lifetime.
No amount of romance will top God’s love, but a perfect romance will be built on God’s love.

Lastly, trust God. I know that it gets tiresome waiting on the Lord because you want to do marriage and relationships God’s way, but I assure you that a God-centred romance in God’s will is well worth the wait. I read this somewhere – There is no point rushing into a relationship only to rush out. The same applies with marriage. Marriage was God’s idea, and it is a covenant that both parties are to make with God and to each other. If God is not at the centre, you cannot expect Him to bless your marriage, nor to sustain it. Romance is beautiful, but I cannot say that it is worth the trauma of a broken heart, soul and spirit. Of course, if you’ve already experienced this, the Lord remains our healer, but why put yourself through such heartache? A mindless decision in a moment can result in a lifetime of healing.

“There is no point rushing into a relationship only to rush out”
A mindless decision in a moment can result in a lifetime of healing.

To my married folks, love it for you. Married, engaged, dating, whatever your status may be, maybe consider doing something a little special for your partner today. Make it thoughtful, and intentional. And do it selflessly, not pursuing what your gift may get you(extra attention, sex, gifts, etc), but what it’ll do for your partner(joy, feeling loved, peace).

I tell you in every post that I love you already, but I’ll say it a little louder today! I LOVE YOU!
But most of all! My God, My Abba, My Jesus LOVES YOU! And that, my friend, means everything.

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