Hi friend. Trying to control the outcome of things in life can be sooo exhausting. It’s because we weren’t built for that. Today’s post is one from my personal archive. You’re essentially getting to read a page from my journal, so this one may feel a bit more personable. Without giving much thought on what to post today, I knew this was the one because this draft has been running through my mind all week. I took a cue, and here we are. I pray that this blesses you. And most importantly, I hope and pray that you meet God here, that’s worth more than anything else.
Control is an illusion. Let Go
You know something that’s been looming in my face and in my mind recently? You probably have an idea because you read the title… Yeah, it’s this idea of control. Hmph. We all have the tendency to feel safer and secure when we feel we are in control of how things go. Matter of fact, Anxiety is many times the byproduct of a perceived loss of control. And I intentionally used the word “perceived” because….How wrong we are! Lately I’ve been thinking of how none of us… and I mean not a single one of us are ultimately in control of anything we do.
When we have our yearly optimism shot which comes with a bunch of new year resolutions, a huge percentage of humans have something linked to fitness on their list. I know it’s a huge percentage not because I’ve done the research but simply because I’m one of y’all and the gym is stressful in January… I’m more introverted that you think y’all. It literally feels like the whole city is in the gym between Jan 1st and 31st. A little less in February. A lot less in March….. bottom barell in August because “summer body” is no longer sufficient motivation lmao. Anyways, I digress. My point is, this is a practical example of something we feel we can control. For the average person (if you can afford it), If the goal is physical fitness( be it weight loss, bulking, toning, etc) we see working out and eating better as things that are in our control. When in school and trying to pass a test, the next practical thing is to study…. Because studying is in our control right? Many of us get jaded with this false sense of control so when something huge happens that we clearly cannot control like a sudden death, sudden illness, etc, it throws us for a loop. Because now… what do you do?
But I’ve had a HUGE perspective shift lately and I now understand that absolutely nothing is in my control. And contrary to how this sounds, it is the most freeing thing. I’ve not only learnt to make peace with this, but I’ve learnt to let it be my source of peace. I don’t trust myself to make all the right decisions for me because I can only see so far. Please don’t be so arrogant to think that you’ve got it all figured out. My mum always used to say humans are short-sighted, God isn’t. This simple truth has shaped my life and faith tremendously. So when certain things don’t work according to my desire… things that I submitted to God, I trust him. Simply because He knows better. I have no idea what life will be like a generation from me… heck I have no control over what may happen in the next 5 minutes. And the truth is neither do you.
”If God were to take back his spirit and withdraw his breath, all life would cease, and humanity would turn again to dust.“ [Job 34:14-15 NLT]
Here’s what God has been reminding me… Every single thing you think you’re in control of… I mean EVERY. SINGLE. THING. hinges on your next breath. You can’t control that, and you never could. This blew my mind because I realized that control is merely an illusion! Should you cease to breathe again in the next 5 minutes, your entire calendar falls apart. Breath is a primary necessity that separates you from everything you can “control”. Ultimately, this means we don’t actually have full control over ANYTHING.
Now let’s not mix up choice and control, they are not the same. You get a choice to plan and you should… that’s just good stewardship if nothing else. However, just because you are gifted with choice doesn’t mean you get control. This is not a bad thing.
I think about giving your car keys to your toddler to drive your car… Why on earth would you do that? You know for a fact that he/she doesn’t know enough to control this car, isn’t mature to handle the responsibility, and can only see so far. When I was a kid, at some point, we had two cars – one much nicer than the other lol. There were times I had a choice as to which vehicle we would ride in – CRV or chrevolet. Up to me, I’d choose the CRV. I chose the ride, I didn’t drive it. I was grateful that my parents would drive me around and take control. They knew the routes way better than I did. They knew the destination and the purpose of each journey. So I gladly trusted them with it. So why don’t we recognize the privilege that it is to be driven by God? You call Him your father, you call yourself His child… so what’s the problem here? Would we rather take control and crash?
To drive this analogy even further, my parents owned the cars so even if they let me drive when I grew older, it was dependent on them letting me use their car. It wasn’t mine, so I couldn’t have full, overarching control. I could steward, but when my access was done, it was done. You are not your own. We quote this all the time – “Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit”{1 Cor 6:19} … we know this but we act like we don’t. Therefore, when breath is done, it’s done. You don’t have full control over ANYTHING.
The problem is, many of you read that and immediately got stressed. Lol, anxiety just went up by 99% for some of y’all and some of you felt anxiety welling up, but that’s exactly why you need this. We need a different response to not being in control… Instead of anxiety, you can find rest. Instead of stress, you can find peace in this. Because the one who is in control is soooo much more experienced and knowledgeable than we are! Just try asking passenger princesses what it feels like to sit back and enjoy the ride. My goodness, too many of us are walking around with superpowers in our back pocket that never get used. Surrender(to God) is a gift!!!
I pray that God will help us to see how beautiful it is to lay everything down before Him and let Him steer the ship that is our lives. I pray that as we lay it all down, we will recognize the peace, joy and comfort that is birthed as a result, and we will bask in it. In Jesus Name. Amen.
Thank you for taking the time to read today’s blog post.
I love you. God loves you infinitely more ∞
Catch you in the next blog post 💕
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