The Lies that We believe(d)

Hey You! I hope you’re having an amazing week so far. Halfway there, keep your head up. For most issues, half the battle (or more) is mental. A simple perspective shift, nugget of wisdom or decision could change a lot for the better. I hope today’s post does that for you. Let’s get into it.

Fairly recently, on a good o’le Sunday, something my pastor said before the sermon resonated very strongly with me, primarily because it was a reality that I very much so lived. His singular point reminded me of a lie that I gave the power to convince and control me simply because I believed it. Can you think of a story you believed for so long that once confronted with the truth, it was hard to accept? Almost like one of those “I was today years old when I realized….” type situations. Completely off-point but, am I the only one who recently learnt that the slit in a chopping board is to pass your chopped food through? Don’t lie lol, I know it can’t just be me. People can pretty much earn degrees on social media now lol. Anyways, I digress.

Something we’ve all got to know is that our mindset and our thought lives are great determinants of the direction in which our spiritual lives go(and grow) because it is by the renewal of our minds that we are able to receive and live out a transformed life by the power of the spirit. Try reading that line again. Maybe that was a mouthful (or ‘eyeful’ in this case) but simply put, ‘what’ and ‘how’ you think matters. Scripture says it this way; “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he” [Prov 23:7] therefore “Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind“[Rom 12:2].

For a long season of my life, what I determined as the ‘truth’ of my life was heavily corrupted with lies simply because it seemed to validate my circumstance. It was the one way I could find to explain where I was, and it just made things make sense to me. In a desperate attempt to understand why my life was so chaotic, I became gullible to lies. You know how you just agree with the narrative that anything that could go wrong would likely go wrong for you just cause… well, it’s you? That’s a thing a lot of us have said and convinced ourselves of in order to mitigate future disappointments, resentment, bitterness and bar shock. Instead of choosing optimism against all odds and falling 10ft from the pinnacle of hope, you’d settle for the level plain field… that way, should things fall apart, the fall is not as catastrophic… or so you’d think. In an attempt to escape the lows, we rob ourselves of the highs. The problem with this approach is that it leaves us settling for a mediocre life, certainly not the abundant life Christ came to give us. Anyways, with life giving me challenge after challenge, I had built a narrative that supported my experience… it just appeared to make sense.

On that blessed Sunday, my pastor, briefly, in passing, spoke about some kids who believed that they were mistakes. For some, this was because their parents told them that’s what they were and they grew to internalize it. He said that to make a point – that though they may have been a surprise to their parents, they can be certain that they came as no surprise to such an intentional and detailed God. They, like you my friend, have always been a part of the plan. This is the point I believe he was trying to drive home and it reminded me that I was that person…. literally. I was so certain for a long time that I was a mistake. Matter of fact, I could have sworn that I was told that… Not in a callous, non-well-meaning way, but in a factual-part-of-the-story way.

For a little bit more context, I have two siblings. Both of them are 2 yrs apart, but I, the youngest, am 7 years apart from the eldest and 5 years apart from the middle child. Somewhere along the line, a time I cannot categorically recall or remember, I imbibed the ideology that I was unplanned. Lol, I believed that 5 years later, my parents received the not-so-pleasant news(in light of their plans at that time), that they were expecting yet another baby. A blessing nonetheless, but not particularly one that was desired. Now, like I’ve expressed, I do not know where I got this from anymore. I thought this was something I had been told and I ran with it. It was a narrative that supported my existencial crisis in the days of deep depression. My reality made me feel like I had to be a mistake because nothing quite made sense to me…. my being here didn’t make sense(to me). And “knowing” that I indeed wasn’t even planned or wanted from conception fed right into that. More “evidence” that fed into my misery.

Keeping it all the way real, it was in late 2021 that I learnt this lie, which I was adamant was my truth, was …. well, a flat-out lie. Let me just pause for a moment and praise such a loving, intentional and caring God because it is with tears in my eyes that I type this part. I’m overwhelmed by His intentionality to dispel that lie when He did. What love….my God. That period was the last time I saw my mother in the flesh, alive and well, on this side of heaven and though there were many things I had healed from, and many lies I had torn down and replaced with the truth by then, that was one lie that lingered. In those last few days, my parents and I bonded deeply and had some deep meaningful conversations we had never bordered before. Mind you, we had zero idea that that last time would be what it was, mum seemed to be just fine. I have no idea how the conversation swung that way but we somehow found ourselves talking about family planning and the birth of I and my siblings when I blurted out that I surprised them with my conception.

For the first time in my probably 16+ years at the time of believing what I believed about my origin, I learnt that I was no “mistake”.. not even in the natural realm. It turns out that my parents had always discussed having 3 or 4 kids and after having my siblings, they needed some time. Years later, they revisited the discussion and actually “planned” to have me…. I was the exact opposite of a mistake, I was intentional. I was planned. Careful thought and consideration went into my coming here. I always knew that from a God standpoint… God makes no mistakes but I felt like I was a burden forced on my parents though they loved me with everything they had. I guess I just thought they loved me cause that’s who they are. But no, when I heard the truth, it was like the distorted glass wall I’d been trapped behind shattered in that moment… It was a lie. Here’s the thing though, it didn’t matter that it was a lie because it was a lie that I believed. My belief held the power that lie needed to keep me bound. And it did.

Now let me be clear, it doesn’t matter if you were actually unplanned by your parents. That doesn’t matter because you were planned by God. What matters is what you’ve believed and the narrative you have allowed to limit you. My little story was to get you to dig deep and screen the things you believe. So, to pretty much summarize the purpose of this post, I would encourage you to screen the narrative of your life. Screen the things that you’ve believed which feed into your narrative but don’t stop there. Who told you that? Can we fact-check it? What does God say about that? You’d be shocked how many of those things you’ve believed are flat-out lies. Some, if not all of these lies have been beneficial to the agenda of the enemy which is to keep you from fulfilling God’s purpose for your life. Lies are many times paralyzing agents.

Lies are many times paralyzing agents.
– Who told you that?
– Can we fact-check it?
– What does God say about that?

I can’t really say why most of us seem to naturally gravitate towards lies. Why is it easier to believe a lie than the truth? Is it because we don’t have our spiritual lens on? That would make sense… after all, if the truth contradicts what we are able to see, one would say it’s logical to deem it a lie. It’s a plague. A deadly one.. I’m convinced that the majority of people(if not all) that have taken their own lives literally died from the belief of a lie. Their reality was just that.. reality, but what they believed it implied was a lie. No, it doesn’t end here. No, it’s not always going to be this way. The world isn’t better off without you. People do care. You are not alone. You are not unloved. Sadly, the victims, and us at times, do not believe any of that.

James 1:21 says “ So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls.”. Accept it. Accept the truth, it has the power to save you. The truth is a liberator. The truth is your saviour.

Don’t underestimate the power of a lie my friend. If you let it brew long enough, in just the right situation, it’ll steer you wrong. Tear those down but remember, don’t leave that space vacant. For every lie, consume the truth and let that lead you. Let Him lead you. Get into His Word and Be Free.

Lies don’t have any power if you don’t believe them. It’s time to tear down the lies that you have believed.

Lies don’t have any power if you don’t believe them.

Truths Referenced

 “Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”“- John 8:31-32

“Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” – John 14:6

“When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future.” – John 16:13

“We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ. “ – 2 Cor 10:5

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